Stuff About Things
The Visitor
Wez standin round a-talkin at the church tother day, A-gettin in a last drag fore itz time to sing and pray. The wimmin folks had done gone in to set and fan and wait, When we seen this automobile wuz a-comm thru the gate; And then this feller drove up thar just like he owned the place. He stopped right on that ant bed, when theyz other parkin space, So we knowed right off that we had us — A vizter.
Well sir, this feller, he got out and walked up whar we stood. They want nobody knowed him, tho we looked him over good. He stuck his hand out, proper like, and sed, Good morning, friend! We jest stood there a little, and then Lew, he had to grin. He stepped out smart and howdyd! Oh, they aint no flies on Lew! So we kicked dirt and shifted weight, to let him know us too. Then we started in to figger out — The vizter.
Now bruther Matt wuz tactful-like, Have you gat faith? he said; A-know-in he could cote him James, bout faith alone is dead. And this here feller took the bait. He said he loved the Lord. Thats nough to know yore Methodist, without another word, Said Matt; and I declare he looked some disappointed too. He had some real good Baptist points hed hoped to carry through. I reckon wed done put in place — The vizter.
He set hizzelf bout half-way down, along the center aisle; And all the wimmin turned around and looked a little while. He sang a right good bass, I thought; and then amened the prayer. Course Effie says he missed a beat — her hearins only fair. The preacher took good aim at him and let the sermunt fly, Bout infant sin, and mourners bench, and sellin Methdist pie. We thought this surely would convert — The vizter.
Somehow he never seen the light, fer all our preach and prayin. Some folk jest got a stubborn heart, my Lizzie keeps a-sayin. But that man done us lots o-good. We learnt thet we wuz able To handle anything whut comes to meet aroun our table. And when we have a shaller day, with most folks gone a-fishin, We skip the class, and set and talk, with everyone awishin Fer one more day like thatn with — The vizter.
(To protect the Innocent —)