Preacher's Double-Talk

Jack G. Dunn, Shelbyville, Tennessee

Politicians are adept in the art of double-talk—the art of saying one thing and meaning another. But "professional" preachers are not far behind.

Below I have listed, in the left column a round down of such expressions as you frequently hear from some preachers. In the right column are explanations of what they usually mean.

1. "Due to my wife's hay-fever, I have reluctantly decided to move."	1. "I'm fed up with this place."
2. "The other field seems to offer a greater opportunity for good."	2. "They pay more over there."
3. "While I've made no definite commitments concerning my future, and much as I hate to leave this good church ..."	3. "I'm anxious to move, and nowhere to go."
4. "At the lectureship I enjoyed the fellowship of many good brethren."	4. "I made some good connections at the lectureship."
5. "I love your soul."	5. "I hate your guts."
6. "Hello. Yes, this is Dr. Jones. I'm the Minister of the Valley Heights church of Christ."	6. "I'd call myself 'Reverend,' but the brotherhood won't allow it."
7. "The Lord abundantly blessed our efforts. The brethren there say it was the best meeting in their history."	7. "I'm the best preacher they've ever had."
8. "This passage is, admittedly, most difficult to explain."	8. "Let's see now. How can I get around this passage?"
9. "I can't see why brother Doakes is always praised as such an outstanding preacher. I've never thought he was really that good."	9. "I think I can preach better than brother Doakes."
10. "Brother Brown, while this cannot be considered official, it may be that our elders would consider you for a meeting next year."	10. "Brother Brown, if I get you a meeting next year, will you get me one?"
11. "So far as I know, brother Smith is sound as a dollar."	11. "Brother Smith has never disagreed with me."
12. "Our records show a membership of about 700, although I must admit that some of these are not as active as they should be."	12. "We have about 200 members worth shooting."