We Want A Preacher!
We do surely want a preacher, One as eloquent as Paul;
He must be a master teacher, No one else could please us all.
He must have a disposition Sweet and gentle as a dove,
With a smile for each condition Filled with understanding love.
He must cater to the women, Kiss each baby on the cheek;
Take the younger people swimming, And of evil never speak.
He must have an education Second to no one at all;
Have no time for meditation, But must answer when we call.
He must never preach on giving, Never cross a member's path;
Nor rebuke their wicked living, Or he'll surely stir their wrath.
He must always be contented With the wages that he's paid,
Smiling when he's complimented Though in debt he has to wade.
He must never miss a payment, Or he'll be a dirty crook;
He must keep the best of raiment With an empty pocket-book.
He must not expect his money, When we have some bills to pay;
There's a land of milk and honey Waiting for him in that day.
So you see the kind of preacher That we have in mind to call;
For an ordinary creature Couldn't start to please us all.