Woody Woodpecker
You have probably never considered Woody as a fit subject for discussion in the Guardian and certainly not in connection with evolution, but maybe we can make a place in both areas for our longtime friend.
It's an easy matter for the evolutionist to observe distinctive traits of present day animals and theorize concerning the development of those traits. However, it's something else altogether when we get back to "first happenings." Interesting things appear.
The story goes that these qualities (such as the long neck of the giraffe) have not developed by accident but have come about in order for the animal to survive. As the giraffe, over a prolonged period of time, stretched his neck to eat the high leaves this resulted in a lengthening of the neck. In order for the giraffe to survive this happened.
Of course questions crop up at this point. For example, why didn't the necks of other animals, whose diets are similar to that of the giraffe, lengthen also? Again, if the giraffe survived before the lengthening of the neck why did he need a longer neck? Did trees quit growing low leaves? Did bushes and shrubs become extinct? Were the higher leaves more tasty?
Now to Woody. Woodpeckers have certain distinctive traits. It wouldn't hurt Woody's feelings for you to call him a hardhead because he is. His cranial structure is outstandingly strong. He also has a chisel-like bill that he uses effectively in many endeavors. His feet are skilled in aiding him to hang to the side of a tree: some toes point forward and some backward. His neck is extremely loose. All of these traits, along with his sticky tongue, and others (that can be found in a good encyclopedia) make Woody, Woody.
The evolutionist says that there was a time when poor Woody didn't have all of these wonderful qualities. Then one day, in order to survive, these things began to develop and the process has continued until now, and who knows where it will go beyond this? Woody may decide the core of the tree is good to eat at which time he will probably develop a saw on the top of his head, but that's for future Ornithologists to work with.
Anyway let's go back to the "first happening."
Remember, at one time these birds didn't peck holes in trees and telephone poles, but now they do. Some smart little rascal had to be the first. Now mind you that when he (and we'll call him Grandpa Woody) started the process he didn't have a hard head like his grandson and he didn't have trained toes or a hard chisel-like bill. He didn't have a sticky tongue either. No, he was a soft-headed, plain-toed, ordinary beaked and slick-tongued little bird.
One day Grandpa Woody decided that bugs and insects are inside trees. In the absence of X-ray vision we wonder how, but, he did. He flew to a tall oak and landed against the side. Being the ordinary-toed soul that he was he rapidly slid to the ground and bruised his tail feathers. Eventually, however, he managed to twist a toe around, so, there he perched. Now, how to get into the tree was the next problem. "Let's see, I can kick a hole, but then what's going to hold me up here?" Finally he decided that with his head he would simply blast away until the job was finished.
Can you imagine the look on his face when he rared back and for the first time in Woodpecker kingdom that bill came thundering in contact with the oak? WHACK! "AHHH NAHH! Why didn't I pick a pine instead of this thing?" But eventually, he solved the hole problem at which time he discretely slid his smooth little tongue inside only to be stung by a bumble bee. The crushed beak, the hurt feelings, the second fall and consequent slipped disc, the excedrin headache, the running sinuses and the swollen tongue all testified to the failure of Grandpa.
Discouraged? Not on your life. He persevered and finally through his noble efforts and the trials and tribulations of his descendants we have our friend Woody just as he is. Isn't evolution grand?
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