Remarriage Creates A "Sticky" Climate
"Sticky" is a word used in modern parlance to refer to disagreeable, difficult or problematical situations. Divorce and remarriage situations may create confusion and concern in a congregation — a sticky climate, a delicate situation.
We find it well at this time to state New Testament teaching as to divorce and remarriage. Matt. 5:31-32 and Matt. 19:9 teach that divorce and remarriage, without the cause of fornication, create an adultery situation. This simply means that if a husband or wife divorces his or her mate for any cause other than fornication, an adulterous situation is created. The innocent mate who is divorced unjustly is placed under suspicion by the inconsiderate and sinful act of the divorcing party, and both parties are in danger of getting involved in adulterous remarriages.
It is not enough to merely suspect that the mate is guilty of adultery. The evidence must be such that the guilty party cannot successfully deny his or her guilt. If it be argued that adultery is difficult to prove, it should be noted that this problem helps to keep what God has bound together from being put asunder. It is not right for a husband or wife to want a divorce so badly that they search for some sign by which they can label their marriage partner an adulterer or adulteress. If a person cannot show real evidence of the mate's adultery, he or she is not free to divorce, and certainly not to remarry. It should be noted that a wife or husband is not required to live with an incompatible mate. They may separate (I Cor. 7:5, 10-15), but not divorce.
In the case of the mate who divorced without the cause of fornication, or proof of adultery, a second marriage is definitely an adulterous one. The will of God is that the marriage bond is broken only by death or fornication. Without one of the two conditions present, the first marital bond is still intact in heaven's books, regardless of the civil divorce decree. An adulterous and unscriptural marriage union on the part of the divorcing party would free the innocent divorced party for a legitimate second marriage. The innocent party's mate creates a "put away" situation recognized by God when he or she unites with a third party in adulterous and unscriptural marriage. This adultery has broken the previous martial bond. The innocent party's mate has broken the bond between them by entering an adulterous relationship with another party.
Everything hinges and depends on the guilt or innocence of the divorced party. If he or she is innocent of adultery before and after the civil divorce action, all other things being in order, he or she is free to marry again after the severing of the marriage bond by the adultery of the one who obtained the civil divorce.
Such a situation creates a "sticky" climate in a church, involving families and relatives. But these can be no respect of persons. The decision of course or policy in these matters must be based on what appears to be right, regardless of the hurt experienced by kinsmen. We must do what is scripturally right in the case of each individual, regardless of the heartaches and hardships thereby incurred by the various parties. In the face of contradicting claims and counter charges, we must simply insist on evidence regarding the alleged adultery of the mate divorced.
This is an emotion-packed circumstance. What dire consequences follow divorce actions! If our young people will take a lesson from all this, perhaps they can be impressed with the sad consequences of ill-advised marriages, broken homes, unscriptural divorces, and adulterous marriages.
"What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." This is a command to be respected. Let it be recorded in the thinking of all. An adulterous union is the only permissible reason for putting asunder what God has joined together.
It is regrettable that people involve the Lord's church in their questionable or disreputable marital situations. It is not pleasant for preachers and elders to get caught in the middle of the recriminations of divorcing or divorced members. We seek to uphold the teaching of Jesus on marriage and divorce and to protect the integrity of the church. This I shall try to do regardless of what my friends and brethren think, say, or do in this matter.
-Indianapolis, Indiana