Devoted to the Propagation and Defense of New Testament Christianity
October 22, 1959

"Poor As Church Mice"

Thomas O'neal, Butler, Alabama

Recently I had occasion to read a magazine published in Texas in which there was an article with the above title.

How often in describing how poor something was, have we heard the statement, "It is as poor as church mice." I guess from this `saying' that church mice are supposed to be a little extra special poor.

I imagine that church mice would be really poor trying to live in some church buildings. How much would the church mice get if they lived in a church house that had just the essential things to carry on the worship? Here is an adequate building, some seats, lights, maybe a blackboard, and rest rooms. How could a mouse live in such a habitat?

There wouldn't be much of anything to eat unless he ate some of the pages out of the old song books that have been stacked back in the corner. In the winter time the building would be cold from Sunday night until Wednesday night until early Sunday morning. He would have no visitors or play mates. Don't you feel a little sorry for these mice living in such quarters? How would you like to live in this environment ?

Here the little church mouse lives in a house (church building) costing in the neighborhood of a million dollars. He really has a mansion, doesn't he? Should he get hungry, and what church mouse doesn't, he can simply go out in the kitchen for a meal. And, what a banquet all the church mice can have. Mrs. Mary Mouse can get chicken, vegetables, and other kinds of food out of the deep freeze. Sally Mouse can be washing all the dirty dishes left from the last `feed.' Her brothers can take their turn drying the dishes. Miss Susie Mouse sets the banquet table for this `feed' because she has just returned from Willie Mouse Christian College over at Mouseville. She has learned all the latest techniques of setting "fellowship tables."

While all the Sister Mice are preparing for the "fellowship" the Brethren Mice are home in the wedding chapel grooming for this banquet. Yes, they are using hair oil that was refined from the oil well owned by this church. They must look their best because Brother W. V. Mouse is returning from the Far West Fellowship Meeting of all the mice in Russia and he is going to tell about all the "church of Christ church mice" in Russia. So, these mice are busy getting into their suits made from cotton raised on the farm, of this church.

Everyone is having a good time except Sister Snowflake Mouse. She burned her arm on the stove in the kitchen and was rushed immediately to the church hospital for first aid. But we are glad to report that she is doing nicely now.

Brother W. V. Mouse showed the necessity of preaching to the mice of Russia, so we sent an `ad' to the Mouse Advocate; asking all the mice in the United States to have fellowship with us as we preach to the mice of Russia over the "Herald of Mice Gospel Broadcast." Everyone agreed for all the other churches of mice to send their money to us and we here in Micetown will supervise, control, sponsor, and beg for the "Herald of Mice Gospel Broadcast."

After the banquet was over all the mice took a little drive out to the church camp. There all the mice engaged in an old fashion swim. You see, in addition to all the modern facilities down at the church building, this church owns a camp with swimming pool and everything else imaginable. Yes, they have a race track, tennis court, ball diamond, and most anything else that mice might enjoy. After an evening of Christian mice fellowship the mice turned homeward to their church building.

Susie Mouse sent a report to the Mouse Chronicle telling how the "church of Christ mice" had beaten the hair and fuzz off the "Baptist mice" last week in a ball game. The "church of Christ mice" believe that they might convert some of these "Baptist mice" in the ball game.

Yes, my friends, this is all just plain stupid and silly. But this is just what some brethren are doing. How poor would the mice at some meeting houses be? How is it where you worship? Do the mice there have access to a swimming pool, banquet hall, yes, even a "Christmas Tree" when the time for such events rolls around?

The mice of yesteryears might have been poor, but there are many mice today that certainly are not!