To: Mr. Rich Y. Ruler
Mr. Rich Y. Ruler Executive Row Chief City
Although we seldom see you, we have kept informed of you through a mutual friend, Reverend Demas. Yes, mutual, for now my brothers and I are with you in this religious thing, and we are anxious for you to know how it all came about.
When our dear brother Dives passed away we did not know a single clergyman to call for the funeral, but we remembered your telling us about this Reverend Demas who left that fanatic, Paul. We sent a messenger with two talents of silver and two changes of raiment, and he came to us. I wish you could have heard his resonant tones as he assured the family that God must have favored Dives in this life, to have allowed him to be so rich; and that surely these favors were multiplied in the Life Beyond. He read many promises of comfort, and applied them to dear Dives. Of course we paid him well, but it was worth every drachma.
We were so pleased with his smooth words, and his red coat, that we invited him to Five Brothers Mansion for dinner, and here the conversation turned to you, dear Richey. He told us, privately and discreetly, of the outlandish demands made upon you by that so-called prophet, Jesus; and of the deep sorrow it had brought you. We want you to know of our sympathy, and how we feel a close rapport with one in your circumstances. My brothers and I are heirs of Dives' silver and gold, and our wealth is equaled only by yours. And, we were in complete agreement, dear Richey, that the comfort we know should also be yours. Rev. "Dee," as we now call him, wants us to assure you that in the unlikely event of your death, he will speak many more nice words on your behalf. So, there is absolutely no reason for you to "go away sorrowful" any longer. Isn't that wonderful? !!
Rev. Dee told us of your brilliant career in politics, and how your good moral life had won many votes. Then, we snuffed the candles, held hands, and had a "meditation session;" and my brothers and I decided to go all the way. We now have "BE GOOD" bumper stickers on all of our chariots, and sometimes we say, "Hallelujah!"— out loud — right in the market place! We are IN religion, but good! I have already given my "testimony" at two Young Business Men's luncheons.
We have had a few uneasy moments since dear Dives departed. Adelphos had a horrible dream about Dives trying to cross a great gulf; and I often dream Dives is trying desperately to tell me something, and I awaken so very thirsty. But this will pass.
Now, I have saved the best to the last. Rev. Dee is planning a Fellowship Dinner just for you. Five Brothers Mansion has been decorated (that dirty beggar has been removed from our beautiful lawn) and we are expecting you for the gala occasion. Be sure to wear your red coat and tie.
Your brothers in the Spirit,
The Five B's of Luke 16:28.
(Matt. 19:16-26; Lu. 18:18; 2 Tim. 4:10)